And they say TODAY'S songs have stupid lyrics!
Just my luck!  I wanted to go out as the Invisible Man this Halloween...
... but I couldn't find my costume anywhere!
Question:  How many fruitcakes are on this card?
Answer:  Too damn many.
Did you know I'm half Irish?
That's why only ONE of my eyes is smiling!
Know why Santa uses reindeer instead of moose?
Moose can't fly.
Know why we eat fruitcake during the holiday season?
If we ate carrot cake, there'd be a shortage of snowman noses!
Remember, Dad, when you used to tell me that thunder was just the angels bowling... that the sky is blue so we can see the white clouds... and that birds sing to make us happy?
Well, I'm flunking science.
Babies!  You've gotta love 'em!
... and change 'em, and burp 'em, and feed 'em, and hold 'em, and change 'em, and feed 'em, and change 'em, and hug 'em, and change 'em...
With this ring I thee wed.
With this card, I thee congratulate!
Out of the mouths of babes...
... comes a lot of strained vegetables!
A wish for the Newlyweds...
May your marriage be nothing like the Bundy's.
Wedding Nightmare #17:  The only musicians available for your reception are the Yodeling Drabowski Sisters.

Contents of this website Copyright 2017 David Schecter